A woman’s genius trick to get over ex

Podcaster Jana Hocking has three tips that will get you out of the “heartbreak hell” — and explains one that will have you dating again in no time.

Confession time… I’ve been dealing with a heartbreak lately.

It ticks all the boxes in terms of physical and mental side effects. Loss of appetite, deep sadness, a sense of loss and a general struggle to stay focused.

It’s been quite a time between heartbreak, but I remember it well.

So I did what I always do, I turned to Googlesphere around 2am on Tuesday night to find a quick fix to allay my shattered heart and get back into the game.

Unfortunately, it didn’t give me much hope. So I shamelessly took to Instagram and asked people to get on the podcast and share some tips and tricks that worked for them in a similar situation. And I’m happy to say that I found what I was looking for!

In fact, I was overwhelmed with love and help. However, there were three people who really stood out with their remedies. So, if you’re currently in a similar situation, here’s what worked for them… and now for me!

1. OK, so this is by far the cutest!

One of my guests revealed that he was dumped in the middle of the lockdown. Ouch!

His partner left home, and he couldn’t even go to the pub with friends and have a nice glass of shiraz together! No, he was inside while a global pandemic was circulating.

So during a reassuring phone call with his mother, she suggested that the Harry Potter audiobooks, narrated by the great warm blanket known as Stephen Fry, and listen to them as you take hot laps within 3 miles of his home. They didn’t have any sort of ridiculous romance that would make him miss his ex, and let’s face it, it’s impossible not to get caught up in it.

He found that he could put on his headphones for an entire hour, get out into the fresh air, and get caught up in all things Hogwarts. It was heaven on his thoughtful mind.

2. Have your friends write you a love letter.

I don’t know if you’ve ever read Dolly Alderton’s memoir aka the ultimate single girl’s bible, Everything I know about love

But the general lesson she learned while writing the book (which is now a BRILLIANT TV series about Stan) is that guys come and go, but your real, steadfast relationships will always be with the friends who have been by your side through it all.

They held your hair back while you vomited after you chose vodka over therapy to deal with heartbreak. They steadfastly topped the rankings when you tried to call the ex who stamped all over your heart, and they’ve been constantly reminding you why you deserve better.

So when one of my podcast guests revealed that, when she was in the midst of her heartbreak, she asked her friends to send her a handwritten letter outlining her positive qualities, I thought… genius!

Listen, if you’re anything like me, when a guy dumps you, you dive deep into everything you think is wrong with you.

What gave him the ick? Was it your bad breath in the morning? Like you ate spaghetti? Your high forehead? Frankly, the brain goes to weird places when you feel blind, and you can start to believe it as fact

Yes, the old self-esteem is really taking a beating these days. So why not get some friends to remind you why they think you’re fucking amazing. The advantage is that you will have these letters forever and can turn to them if you feel bad.

3. And finally the Samantha Jones method.

Yes, dear reader, if you’ve ever binged Sex and the city as much as I have, you will know that there is one fine remedy brought to us by the most superior member of the cast… Samantha Jones. Who says, “Oh baby, to get over someone, you have to get under someone!”

You know what’s better than pining about your ex? Having hot, steamy sex with a stranger.

Listen, I’m not saying it’s a long-term cure, but it can certainly be good for the short-term. Just make sure you wear a condom. Good lord, no one has time for a baby or an STD in the middle of a breakup.

But honestly, if you need a quick fix to get the loins going, why not try it?

Be kind to yourself now and give yourself time. It will eventually get better.

Jana Hocking is a podcaster and collector of boyfriends. † @jana_hocking

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