When you’re deep in a gaming session, there’s always the possibility that you a little pull† You probably need some food.
Imagine: you are sitting in your gamer chair, at your gamer desk. You have your gamer headset on and one of your gamer hands is on your gamer keyboard. The other gamer hand? That’s on your gaming mouse. Your game eyes are attached to your gamer monitor.
Are you watching The princess bride for the fourth time in a row? Of course not. you are gaming†
Playing games can be physically demanding and if you don’t have the right fuel, you might die. While it’s all well and good to get up and get something to eat, for many gamers that’s just not an option. you should Do you have gamer food and gamer drink on hand.
There are plenty of foods and drinks for gamers that are vital to the wild gamer. On the other hand, there are also many foods and drinks that you should NOT consume while gaming, unless you are looking for a mess!
Unfortunately, I’m here to traverse the Gamer Foods, the Gamer FooDon’ts, the Gamer Drinks, and the Gamer DrinCannots. I’m doing this so you know which consumables are A-OK to put in your crazy body while balls deep in an hour-long session of My friend Peppa Pigand which consumables will result in your day-long session of Scary baby in horror house face great, great sorrow.
Gamer food: Dorito
We all know that Doritos are the food of choice for gamers. The gamers’ hunger and hunger can only be satisfied with the blessed triangular corn chip.
The accessibility of the Dorito chip is essential while gaming. The crunch is worth it. The dust may linger on your fingers, but that’s what your sweatpants are for.
Pictured above is a Doritos truck accelerating at full speed to make a very important delivery to a starving gamer, hungry for that one snack that will please them.
DEFINITELY eat a gamer.
Gamer Foo-Don’t: A hearty handful of spaghetti bolognese
Spaghetti bolognese is a delicious meal. Really delicious. A staple in any diet. The Italians really had the right idea when they decided to drop this stunner.
However, it’s a terrible and messy idea to eat hearty handfuls of spaghetti bolognese while you’re gaming. You’ll get the spaghetti bolognese all over your gaming tools, making them very greasy.
They may smell like a gourmet Italian restaurant now, but in a few hours they won’t be. Nonna strongly advises against this. NO gamer food.
Gamer Drink: Water
You need water to live, we all have that. Gamers are no different, they also need to drink water.
Did you have some water today? If you have that, great! If you haven’t, go drink some water. Your belly will take on a human face, smile at you and say, “Thank you so much!”
This isn’t just a drink for gamers, this is a drink for everyone. But most importantly, this is a gamer drink.
Gamer Drin-Cannot: boiling hot glass of milk
There are many reasons why you should not drink a boiling hot glass of milk while gaming. First, bah!
If you drink this boiling hot glass of milk while investing in a session of Euro Truck Simulator you could burn your gamer hand, which you need for gaming. If it burns your tongue, you can spit it out to your gamer monitor, leaving the on-screen trucks in a hot milky mess.
While I personally recommend drinking a lone glass of milk while gaming, I say with full confidence that a boiling hot glass of milk is NOT a gamer’s drink.
Gamer food: Pizza
Ah yes, the delicious ‘za. This is an Italian meal that IS perfect for gaming.
The circular delight known as ‘The Pizza’ is the perfect food for gamers. You can hold it in one hand so that the other hand can shoot the bad guy in the video game. It has all the foods you need for a well-rounded diet: bread, tomato, cheese and other things.
This is 100% gamer food, both in the sense that you can eat it in a group with your other gamer friends, or all alone as a lone gamer.
Gamer Foo-Don’t: Fresh Eggs From a Furious Mother Emu
This is a big no-no.
Why are you here in the outback of Australia? Your gaming PC is at home waiting for you to play Frozen Elsa Brain Surgery am working on it! Are you hungry and looking for a gamer snack? Well this is NOT the place to look.
Even THINKING of getting near this new mom’s big blue eggs will give you the fight of a lifetime. Not only are fresh emu eggs completely inaccessible, but you will also encounter a VERY ANGRY mother emu, bent on protecting her eggs. She will show you no mercy.
Definitely not gamer food.
Gamer Drink: Mountain Dew
Mountain Dew is the drink for gamers, if reading words on the internet is something to pass up.
From what I’ve seen, a can of Mountain Dew goes great with a Dorito corn chip and hey, maybe even a pizza slice. While you are playing Super Mario is going to law schoola sip of this refreshing green brew will give you the energy you need to get that degree.
Historically, this is the most gamer drink in existence.
Gamer Drin-Cannot: Generous Pint of a Bog Witch’s Brew
Oh no, this is not a drink you want to drink while gaming!
Though it may look like Mountain Brew, this mischievous brew brewed by the wretched swamp bell dams will bring you nothing but misery. If it’s not true that you take one sip of this concoction, you’ll find yourself squirming as a teenager, turning into a slimy toad in the blink of an eye!
Alas, if it be not true that a very queer princess puts a kiss on your head, you will be cured. However, this can be painful if it is not true that you are gaming.
Verily no gam’r drinketh.
What are some foods and drinks you like to drink while playing games? Better yet, what are some foods and drinks that you think are absolute? not intended to be consumed while gaming? Let us know!
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